everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
