K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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