i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We don't watch enough power rangers
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
