I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
