I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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