Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
