Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
