Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
