My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
