It's a beautiful day for a hangover
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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