Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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