You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
