I want you more than these girls want KFC
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
