So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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