The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the raccoons are back...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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