Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
