I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
