it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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