Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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