thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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