If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
