it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
