quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
