There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Soap is not a condiment
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
