"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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