My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
...so i touched it.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
