Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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