I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
