I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
