Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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