And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
