Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
