stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
