This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize