You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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