you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
