if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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