I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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