my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
