Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
