Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize