her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
A+ Viking dick
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