Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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