I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i drank out of a bidet.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
