I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
