I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
