I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize