marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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