Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
