whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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