But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
