I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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