i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
