yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I didn't notice because vodka
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
