I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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