I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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