But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
