I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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