I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize