yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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