P.S. I can't hear my feet
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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