"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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