She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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