The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
